Panic Attacks are normal

Everyone has experience and  insight into the tangle of belongings we all accrue. Our stuff.  Even cave men probably had clutter- it just looked different. The natural human reaction to staying in one place is to start collecting, preparing, stockpiling- okay, hoarding. We know we don’t need another candle, but you never know. We should probably get it just in case- besides it smells good. Never mind that we have 8 other candles just like it at home. Modern Americans are universally guilty of entertaining ourselves by shopping for more stuff.

I am now at the crossroads. I have been gently eliminating items from my home for almost a year. I have packed over 20 boxes of items I don’t want to get rid of, but now I must be brutal in my assessments. I cannot take 31 years of life with me.

Yesterday I threw out my late father’s Rolodex. Dad died over a year ago, and I haven’t needed the contacts. Many were outdated, or worse, dead. I really had to convince myself that I would not regret trashing it. I also threw away 5 years of lesson plans. I had been hanging onto my American History and Geography lessons because discarding them was resignation and a declaration. My teaching days are over. Much harder to let go than I thought.

Last night we re-watched Gravity with Sandra Bullock. She would never have survived if she didn’t take chances and “let go”.  I want the rest of my life to be amazing, and to do that, I have to let go of how I was and what I was and take the leap. Every now and then, I realize I need another push in the right direction, just like Sandra’s character.

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